How many hours of sleep at this age
10 to 13 hours a day, including a nap if they still take one
That's the Canadian Paediatric Society's range for ages 3 to 5. Every child is different: at 4, most have dropped the nap and sleep 11 or 12 hours straight, but some still need a short snooze after lunch.
Typical struggles, and what to do
Monsters and nightmares
Théo won't let you turn off the light because there's "something" in the closet. And twice a week he wakes up crying at 3:00 am: a nightmare, which he can describe in detail. At 4, imagination doesn't yet sort real from pretend very well. Don't say "monsters aren't real": to him, that rings false. Give him power over the fear instead: a "guard" stuffed animal, a small flashlight on the nightstand, a magic phrase he says himself. After a nightmare, comfort quickly, say little, and talk it over the next day, in daylight, when it's less scary.
Bargaining
"Just one more story." "But I haven't finished my drawing." "Léa gets to go to bed at 8." At 4, your child argues, and rather well. Every answer you give opens the door to the next comeback. What works: repeat the same short sentence, in a neutral tone, without justifying. "It's bedtime." Three times if needed. Don't debate the substance; you'll lose, not because they're right, but because they have more energy than you at 7:30 pm. The rules they know in advance (two books, one glass of water, one kiss) aren't up for negotiation, and that's exactly what makes them restful for them too.
No more nap, and the 5:00 pm meltdown
Daycare stopped the nap to get them ready for kindergarten, and since then, coming home turns into a drama: tears over nothing, refusing supper, then a strange second wind at 7:00 pm. That's built-up fatigue. The fix isn't bringing the nap back (except on truly rough days, 30 minutes max, before 2:30 pm), but moving bedtime earlier: 6:45 pm instead of 7:30 pm for a few weeks. A 20-minute "quiet time" after pickup, with books on the bed and no obligation to sleep, also helps get through supper. It usually settles within a month.
A 20-minute routine that holds up
At 4, your child can run their routine chart themselves: one picture per step and a small box they check off (a magnet, a sticker, a dry-erase marker). You're no longer the boss, you're the assistant. Here's an example for a 7:15 pm bedtime, to be moved earlier during no-nap weeks.
- 6:55 pm
Tidy-up and warning
"In five minutes, the chart starts." Meanwhile, three toys go in the bin and the drawing in progress is put "somewhere safe" on the fridge for tomorrow. That settles the "I'm not done."
- 7:00 pm
Bath or wash, first box checked
A ten-minute bath, or face and hands washed. On the way out, they go and check the first box on the chart themselves. That small gesture gives them a sense of progress, and it cuts down on protests at the next step.
- 7:05 pm
Pyjamas solo, potty, teeth
They dress themselves while you get the toothbrush ready. Potty, then brushing: they start, you finish (until 6 or 7, an adult needs to go over it). Two more boxes checked.
- 7:09 pm
The monster check
If the fear is there, one quick room tour with their own flashlight: under the bed, the closet, behind the curtain. "Nothing. All clear." The guard stuffed animal takes its post at the foot of the bed. Done once, not repeated.
- 7:11 pm
Two stories, last box, lights out
Two books in bed, chosen before teeth. Then they check the last box on the chart, and they're the one who switches off the big light: a small power that changes the mood. Night light, cuddle, the nightly words, door ajar.
Reading to a 4-year-old
At 4, stories can be longer and have a real twist: a hero who loses something, who gets scared, and who comes through. Stories where a child tames a fear (of the dark, the wolf, thunder) are gold at this age, because your child identifies with the hero and carries the solution to bed with them. Read with a little play in your voice, but save the action stories for daytime.
Two books, ten to twelve minutes, always in bed. Your child will start "reading" the words they recognize (their name, "no," "Mom") and guessing what's next: let them, it's the beginning of reading. Ask a single question at the end ("What did the hero do when he was scared?") rather than ten along the way. If a book frightens them, put it away without fuss and bring it back in six months.
Questions parents ask
My 4-year-old has nightmares every night
Nightmares are common at 4, especially during periods of change (new daycare, a move, a baby brother). Look at what they watch late in the day: even a "gentle" cartoon can feed dreams. Keep screens far from bedtime, end the evening on a story that ends well, and after a nightmare, comfort briefly without turning everything back on. If they persist for several weeks or your child becomes afraid to fall asleep, talk to your family doctor.
Does a 4-year-old still need a nap?
Most 4-year-olds no longer need one, and many daycares stop it to prepare for kindergarten. The test: if the nap pushes bedtime past 8:30 pm or the child fights for an hour to fall asleep, it's time to drop it. If, on the other hand, they collapse at 5:00 pm, they may still need it, or bedtime needs to move earlier. Replace the nap with quiet time with books: it rests them without shifting the night.
How do I make a bedtime routine chart?
One sheet, five or six pictures (drawn together, or photos of your child doing each step, which is even better), in order, with a box beside each. Laminate it and hang it at child height in the bedroom. They check it off with a dry-erase marker or move a magnet. Keep it simple: if it needs explaining, it's too complicated. No reward at the end; the pride of checking a box is enough at 4.
Contes de Lune
And where does the card fit in?
At 4, your child watches the mailbox. The Contes de Lune postcard arrives by mail every week, in their name, and they spot their hero and their imaginary friend on the picture right away. They're often the one who slots it in as the last step on the chart: a short story where they're the hero and everything ends well. A good way to send the monsters to bed before they go.
The last step of the routine, by mail
At Contes de Lune, your child receives an illustrated card in their name every week, with a new chapter of a story where they're the hero, with their imaginary friend. Their first story is free, to read on screen.
Create their first story for freeNo credit card · then, if you love the adventure: the cards by mail for $14.99/month, delivery included in Canada.